Oh my…
I underestimate situations far too often. I have waited a few days to even write about this event because I didn’t even know how to go about telling…
Superbowl Sunday…typically just a fun day to get together with friends, eat, drink, watch the game, and laugh at the commercials. I am typically good at keeping an eye on the game even if I am distracted. However, this year, I don’t know that I could tell you one thing that happened during the whole game. I also don’t think I could even tell you about one commercial. All I can honestly say I paid attention to on the television the whole time was the minute and a half that Usher was on for half-time.
What could have kept my attention away from the big game? D-R-A-M-A. I typically avoid drama at all cost, and really I was trying to. I ended up having to be a buffer between the group and a friend to try to defuse one situation, which ended up happening anyway while everyone pretended not to watch. That wasn’t too bad.
Somehow during the night though, my ass became “the douche’s” personal stress ball. It was not okay. Somehow through a serious of voided seat checks and outbursts I gave up my seat on the couch to avoid conflict. This is how I ended up sitting on the arm of the couch where my ass was in full view of the whole room, and how everyone was able to see him grabbing it very persistently even after my attempts to ask him to please stop.
Somehow through another series of events I ended up back on the couch, still next to “douche” and he honestly put his hand down as I sat, so blatantly that the entire room full of people saw, and made it so if I wanted to sit I had to sit on his hand, where again, he could grab my ass.
(I am going to take the time here to insert the fact that yes, I am a small girl, and my butt is not a bad feature of mine, but it is NOT good enough for all the attention it received during this night)
Eventually the person who had been sitting where I was sitting came back to reclaim their spot which put me back on the armrest. Before I even knew it “douche” was spilling a beer all over the guy who had taken his seat back. Then he proceeded to spill the beer in my purse and call me and another girl “bitches”.
Can I take the time to point out here that it was a man causing the drama at a football party? I swear he had to have been on his period. I thought if there were ever going to be a party with a complete lack of drama it would be football (aside from yelling at the TV and winning or losing the game of course). Apparently I was wrong.
Next this “douche” decided to try to fight one guy telling him to “punch him in the fist”. Who says that? I mean, punch me in the face or something, cool, I can work with that…but why in the world would I (or anyone else) ever attempt to punch someone in the fist. I am not going to try to start a fight playing an amped up game of bloody knuckles. Seriously, what are we, 10? Then this led to “douche” yelling about multiple people being pussies and somehow him waiting at the end of the driveway for a ride while holding someone’s thumb trying to break it.
Now you know why I don’t recall anything from the game. Literally, the guys were looking the OPPOSITE direction of the TV most of the time, which NEVER happens when sports are on.
Too bad for “douche” because some of the guys took his terrible towel that he had left and made that shit burn…
Anyway, the night only got more interesting from there. Of course, everyone made light of the situation with “douche” and it was a running joke all night. Actually, it still seems to be a running joke.
Somehow my night only got more interesting. I will not go into too much detail, because technically I am sworn to secrecy about some of it. (Sorry, but its the rules of the game)
I can say however, that there was men in man thongs, a hot tub, lots of people getting naked and running in the freezing cold, naked snow angels, the neighbor watching someone slide down the frozen slide naked, and way more information obtained about things than ever should have been revealed.
Who said Truth or Dare couldn’t be fun as an adult?…
All in all it was a very interesting night…
