An evil day that most want to drop a napalm on…
Yes, I am going to do it. I am going to blog about my Valentine’s Day.
Most time I think of Valentine’s and I get bitter and resentful and basically hate anything and everything to do with it. I have never had an amazing experience on that day. I feel like people tend to put it up on a pedestal and expectations are never reached. It is impossible.
Well this year was no different than any other. I was especially bitter because me and my ex had just had a big fight on Saturday and I knew it would be completely unreasonable to ask him if he wanted to hang out, even if we are still friends. I really did not want to be alone, but I knew it was going to be inevitable.
So I went to bed Sunday night dreading waking up in the morning to the horrific day. My phone rang and woke me up (not a fun way to start the day). It was my friend asking me if I wanted to go on a run. Ok, now, I know I told her I wanted to start running, but really…waking me up early on the worst day of the year to ask me if I want to go and get my ass kicked??? All I wanted was a cheesecake.
(Ok for the sake of having names, but still staying slightly anonymous, I am totally going to copy Gossip Girl here and start calling people letters…lol)
So K convinced me to get up and get going. I had forgotten to write out all the Valentine’s for my daughters party at school so I rushed to fill her name out on 20 stupid little cards and put a sticker with each one and then close them with a little heart sticker. The whole time she was screaming MINE!!! Of course, I just wanted to crawl back into bed.
So I started to talk to her so I might distract her from what I was doing. This is when I told her that she needed to pick the person she loved most in the whole world and that was who her Valentine was going to be. I obviously assumed she was going to say “Mommy” since I was showering her with goodies. OH NO! That couldn’t happen, I couldn’t feel any love on that bitter morning. She said “J!” (J is my ex). I said, “Really A? He isn’t even going to see you today and he didn’t get you any presents and mommy worked hard to make this a good day for you.” Her response, “I don’t care, J!”
So off she went to daycare with me thinking not even my own daughter loved me on a day like this. So I got back and went for my run with K. It was freezing, I couldn’t breathe, and all I could think about was cheesecake. After about 2 miles we were back at my house and off to the store we went to fulfill my cheesecake needs.
This is when I found out that my other bestie B had been dumped…ON Valentine’s day! Who does that? I mean really…I know most guys don’t get stuff like that, but I thought every man was at least smart enough to wait and not do shit like that on a holiday, especially Valentine’s day. Other holidays might be explainable, but not on the one day a year that is about caring and loving. Care enough to not ruin the holiday for the rest of her damn life, I mean really.
Anyway, enough of that rant. I was feeling bad for the both of us at that point and ended up buying a cheesecake, chocolates, chocolate covered strawberries, and layered dessert cakes. Yea I know, eat my feelings, right?
So B came over, and neither of us could handle sitting and sulking anymore. We decided to say screw it and make the day good for ourselves. The best way to heal a soul is to go on a long drive to nowhere with your best friend, your ipod, and some smokes. So thats what we did. And we drove and talked and let out all of our cynicism and anger, and by the end of the drive we knew what we were going to do.
We stopped at a random little house with a “Psychic Readings” sign, and in we went. And yea we were both too scared to be the first one to go in and the woman opened the door like, hi, I knew you were there. At first I was freaked but then I was like, whatever, dumb broad heard us pull in.
So we asked what all they did there, and off we went to the bank. We both ended up getting full tarot card readings. I honestly thought it was going to be the biggest crock of shit ever. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I believe in that kind of thing, but I also believe it takes a special person to have that talent.
So during my reading, I got completely freaked out. She knew waaaaayyy more than I ever expected her to. She pretty much hit every nail right on the head. I felt very unnerved after the experience. I did feel like I knew what I needed to do to move on in my life, and I had reassurance that everything was going to be okay as long as I followed the right path.
So B and I talked all about our readings when we got back to the car and we were both spooked, but we wanted to know more. So what did we do, we went and bought our own cards. I think I may have found the perfect deck. I have always been drawn toward faeries and the fae and all of that and I found a deck of oracle cards. B got an animal druid deck.
So we went to my house, pigged out on all the food, and experimented with our cards. Again, creepy with the accuracy. I know it sounds so crazy to be all “New-Age-y” but one of my good friends M and I have always been really interested in that stuff. Most people have told me I have a very good energy for doing things like readings and all of that. Its insane the things I have come across just playing with my cards.
Anyway, we went and picked up A from school. I fixed dinner and we all hung out and had a good time. Then it was play time. After that came bath time. Right before A’s bedtime, J said she could call him and talk to him. I have never seen that little booger so excited. She just kept screaming his name and saying “I love you” and it was amazing to see her so happy, but depressing at the same time.
So after she went to bed, me and B pigged out again, and watched bad prime time TV that all had Valentine’s specials on. After curling up on the couch and being completely girly, we were pooped. B went home, and I went to bed and read a book until I fell asleep.
I woke up this morning and realized…Valentine’s day wasn’t that bad. I really didn’t feel like I needed to drop a napalm on the evil day. I spent all day doing things with my best friend and focusing on myself, and it was the most fun I had actually had in a long while. Surprising how when you just forget about everything but making yourself happy, you stop being miserable and actually end up happy.
Maybe that is a sign….
