Two in one day…
Yup thats me, the over achiever…or excellent procrastinator, however you want to look at it is fine with me. I realized after posting my earlier blog, that all I did was rant about things and I didn’t even write about the things that I had wanted to write about. I do that way too often. I go off on some tangent and never come full circle with it. Anyway, thats what blog number 2 for the day is for! Here I am going to come full circle and write about the strange happenings in my day.
I woke up and had the strangest revelation that I think I could have had in the first two minutes of functioning for my day. I realized, without looking at my phone or a calender, that it is in fact the 21st of the month. I then realized exactly six months ago I was the happiest girl in the entire world. This was the day that T made me his girlfriend officially and we spent the night together and had a great time together and talked about anything and everything and it was just completely where I wanted to be. And if we are going to be honest here, its where I would love to still be, but I am not. Then came part two of this revelation…I realized exactly when he decided he was going to leave, and why. And oddly enough, I felt very serene about the whole thing. I for the first time since we broke up didn’t feel at odds with everything, and I had all of the answers I needed. It may sound strange, but I don’t doubt any of this at all. Unfortunately, I still can’t change any of it, but for now I actually feel like that is ok.
Anyway, after starting my day off in that peculiar way, it only got more strange from there. I slowly started to recall dreams that I had had. As the day progressed, I realized those dreams, though not quite as extreme, were actually happening today. It freaked me out to be honest.
My first dream was about my older sister. I dreamed she ran away and nobody could find her. I went looking for her and came across a young boy. I asked him if he had seen a girl that looked just like me and he said yes he knew where she was. He then told me the things that I needed to say to her to make her brave enough to come back with me. I found her where the boy said she would be, hiding in a tree, and said what he had instructed and she came home with me.
I couldn’t shake the feeling of being worried about my sister so I got on facebook to send her a message to let her know that I was thinking about her. I then found that she was scared about today, and she was nervous. It is her daughters first day of physical therapy because she isn’t using her legs or putting weight on them at all. I sent her a message to say that I had been thinking about both of them…but it was a less extreme version of my dream. She was in need of guidance and she was scared and wanted to hide, and needed someone to be there for her. It was strange to think I would have dreamed of her without knowing any of this.
So then I was really weirded out. I had also recalled a dream in which my ex boyfriend from years ago…we will call him J was having problems with his girlfriend, we will call her C. C was mad at J for some reason, and she was going to run away to South Carolina. He came to me for advice and I had to tell him that she wasn’t meant for him, that something in Carolina was going to take her from him. It wasn’t necessarily some other man or anything like that, but something was going to make her mad enough to leave forever and nothing he did was going to bring her back, and I had to tell J that.
So this is when I really got the creeps. J got ahold of me today and told me of a situation that he had over the weekend that he still hadn’t told C about. He didn’t think it was a big deal because he didn’t do anything wrong. Me, being a girl, and having gone through the same situation with J when we were together, only he did do wrong that time, had to tell him that he should have already talked to C about it. Granted, I don’t think the situation is big enough that she is going to run away to another state and leave him forever, but I do think that it is going to cause some trust issues between them.
I was two for two with my dreams last night. It makes me nervous to sleep again. I don’t want everything I dream to come true, but then again, some of my dreams I wish would…
Anyway, moral of the story…today has been a very strange day.
