Lucky I am not an elephant
So by this point if you have been reading my blogs, its obvious, I am a typical girl. I have responsibilities that are hard, boys that are stupid, and friends that are amazing. Not too extraordinary of a life that I am living. I don’t write to make anyone think otherwise. It really is just a nice little therapy session for me every few days, and if people can find entertainment in it, then excellent.
Ok, now that I have the disclaimer out that I am an average girl, I feel like it is completely acceptable to get all emotional over stupid things for a few minutes, but of course, not without giving you a funny back story first.
So yesterday I decided it was time to get Mirena…awesome, right? No babies for five years unless I decide I want one. For a single mother, this is so stinkin great. Well it was great until it actually came down to the process.
So I called and set up my appointment, and sorry if this grosses anyone out or offends anyone, but you have to be “on your cycle” to have it put in place. It is a big long thing about ensuring that you aren’t currently preggo. Anyway, gross idea, but I thought what the hell? I was sure the doctors have seen much much worse things.
So I go in for my appointment, and I am not a shy cookie when it comes to asking questions. So I really just asked if I was supposed to take out my tampon before the doctor came in or not. I didn’t realize how embarrassing it sounded until after I said it. So anyway, I am already mortified by the time the doctor comes in. Of course he was an older man with this southern accent that made me feel like he was trying to seduce me while he was holding this giant device that he was about to shove into my cervix. Not really a fun situation to be in…
So I will spare you all the horrible details, but I will tell you this…it was painful. It was like birthing a child, only backward. I felt very violated afterward. So what is the point in me telling you all this? Well, you see, thats how my day started, quite horribly, and it also lets you know that all of a sudden I was being pumped with 5 years worth of hormones…not exciting…at all.
So my day went on and life was fine…emotional, but ok. I spent the day doing B’s hair and just having fun planning a little day trip for Friday to go to Indianapolis to see L and M. Not so bad.
Well, then shit hit the fan. We won’t go into detail, but here is where I am going to turn in to the typical girl…
I needed someone to talk to. Honestly, thats pretty hard to come by these days. Having someone you feel like you can actually be honest and yourself with that you trust enough to be there and give you the right advice and to not just brush it under the rug or go tell everyone your problems. So who do I think of? Why J of course. Well you see, I am not really contacting him these days. Trying to lay off for a bit and get our relationship into the “friend” zone and away from the “Friends that are wayyyy to friendly when they have been drinking” zone.
So anyway, I ended up going completely off on an old friend, which actually felt kinda good because really he needed someone to just fly of the handle with him and put him in his place. Then I sat and cried like a little baby in front of my computer.
I came to a realization though. I realized, it isn’t always losing someone that you are still very much in love with that breaks your heart. I mean, yea, I have a broken heart from that too, but sometimes its the people that you love that you really can’t lose that can tear your heart into pieces too without ever really meaning to. Its times like that when you need a friend, someone to count on, and you won’t always have it.
So moral of the story…elephants can die of a broken heart…so I am lucky I am not an elephant. I have to depend on myself even in the toughest times, and I can’t really do that if I am dead…right?? So yea, I guess life goes on, I just have to decide if it is going to go on with or without me…and well…I kinda like to go on trips, so life better get ready, because I am tagging along for the ride.
